Your Wedding is NOT a Competition. Period.
It's Wedding Wednesday! And time for another #TMETip!
This one is a core part of the TME philosophy. Your wedding is NOT a competition. Period, point blank, end of story.
Weddings are fun, and weddings are pretty. Weddings are a great opportunity for friends and family who haven't seen each other in years to get together and spend time reminiscing about old memories and making a few new ones. Your wedding is a great place for you and your fiance to showcase who you are and tell your story.
One thing your wedding is not, and never should be, is a competition. Let me repeat that for the people in the back. Your wedding is NOT a competition. It's not about doing it better than your cousin or your sister or your co-worker's best friend. It's not about impressing your father's boss. It's not about outspending your neighbors. As a planner, I see a lot of couples get caught up in the "This will be the most amazing _____ they've ever seen! So and so will be so jealous!" It's not about that. It's a wedding. It's about getting married, and love and family.
There is a popular wedding reality show, that happens to be filmed in New Jersey a LOT. I've been contacted to submit couples to this show- and I never have. I don't even ask my couples about their opinion of it. Why? Wouldn't it be great publicity? Maybe, but my couples' weddings are not about me. And I do not like the premise of having brides compare themselves to each other. Especially not on a day that is already fraught with emotion and tensions about what other people think. I just can't get into the idea of people judging someone's day like that. If the guests had a good time, and the couple had a great time, then it was a success, no? There is something fundamentally wrong, in my opinion, with a media outlet that encourages women to judge each other. That liminal moment of becoming "wife" is so important to the formation of a new family- and I think women need and deserve support from other women in the same space as opposed to judgement.
It is hard to escape the temptation to compare your wedding to others- but you have to resist it. For your own sanity. Social media is a great place to find inspiration and ideas (I'm looking at you Pinterest!) and it's a wonderful place to connect with people - but don't be so quick to grab likes, and re-pins that you forget the whole point. It is not about what other people think- it is about you, your fiance and your love. Remember, comparison is the thief of joy. Do not stress over the must haves and have tos. Keep the love and the celebration in focus, and you'll be just fine. If it works for you, go for it, and I give you complete permission to forget the naysayers.
'Til next time- Keep Celebrating!
Note: This post is a re-write of one I did back in January 2014. I liked it so much I edited it for you. Enjoy!