The Wedding is Just Part One
Happy Halloween peeps! I generally don't blog about celebrity news or gossip or anything like that. But I recently heard that Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries are calling it quits- or rather that Kim is filing for divorce after 72 days. Seventy. Two. Days.That makes every tiny hair on my head stand on end. It makes me mad. Why? Well there are a few reasons.
First, I believe in marriage. 100%. It's why I do what I do. Because I think that marriage is important. I believe that family is important, sticking to your word is important, commitment is important, LOVE is important.
Second, I understand that the wedding is just the START of the journey. Yes, it can be as large and ostentatious (or as small and charming) as you want it to be, but it's importance and emphasis should NEVER trump that of the relationship that comes after (you know, that whole FOREVER thing???).
Third, celebrity weddings like this get A LOT of attention- and tend to shape the style of weddings for years to come. They set up unrealistic expectations. And I'm starting to worry that one of those new expectations is that marriage is just a temporary state- one that can be dropped like last season's worn out jeans.
Let me say this again. Marriage is not a game. It's a major life decision with major stress and conflict and compromise and pressure and it changes you. If you take it for what it's worth, and work at it the way you're supposed to, it changes you for the better.
I don't disagree with divorce completely- it is necessary sometimes. In some cases. After 72 days of marriage though? And a 6 month relationship? They could have dodged a major bullet if they would have just dated for say, 2 more years? I mean come on, what are they, 15??? Goodness. I'm not a marriage counselor, but in my opinion, divorce can probably be avoided if a couple either a) figures out that they really shouldn't be married in the first place (you should talk about everything BEFORE setting the date, people), or b) decide that they're getting through whatever comes their way together, come Hell or high water (or both).
When people have huge weddings, televised no less, with massive guest lists, costume changes, donated accessories, and other trappings, it makes me think we're getting away from the core foundation of what it means to get and be married. And who is watching this? A lot of people who are soon to be married. Is the bling more important than what happens after? When the honeymoon is over, what's next?? LIFE. Life is not all white lace and attention. It's not all birch bark coasters and dessert displays. That one day is fun, but it should only serve as the backdrop on which you build the new tapestry of a lifetime commitment with the person you are marrying.
While planning the wedding, please, please, please don't forget to plan the marriage. The wedding is ONE DAY. The marriage is a LIFETIME. What do you think? Is the commitment of marriage going the way of the dodo? And can we fix it??