TME Question of the Week: Etiquette - Writing Thank You Cards

Thank you cards!  They are a necessity, and a dreaded task for many couples. So how do you handle it? A New Jersey Bride asked; read on for the answer!

"Dear Jasmine,

My future hubby and I are having a disagreement. I'm considering hiring out our thank you cards, or enlisting the help of bridesmaids and our families to help us.  His mom says no way, and he agrees with her- they think we should take care of them ourselves, or it's not really genuine.  What should we do?  I can't imagine tackling this daunting task alone. Is it impolite to have others write cards for us?? Help!!" - Penned In.

Dear Penned In-

I know it can seem overwhelming (especially with the average NJ wedding guest list ranging about 125 people...) but I'm going to agree with your fiance and his mom on this one... having someone else write your thank you's in your stead really removes the personal nature of this highly personalized act.   When you write a thank you card, you are supposed to be expressing your gratitude towards someone for attending your wedding and/or bringing an awesome gift.  It is just a tad disingenuous to pawn this task off on others.

In my opinion, thank you card writing is a lost art- everyone likes to feel appreciated now and then.  And while it can seem like an overwhelming task, it's easy to get it done if you take it step by step!

  • First tip: Don't wait until the last minute!  Pick out your thank you cards early - they don't need to match the rest of your wedding stationery, and the earlier you have them the sooner you can get started.
  • Second tip: Address the envelopes as the RSVPs come in- you should send cards to everyone who attended not just those who give gifts, and doing this before the wedding avoids a mad scramble after.  Technically you have a year, but putting it off tends to lead to... well, putting it off.
  • Third tip: The notes do not need to be long- a 2 or 3 sentence message of heartfelt gratitude is all that is needed.  For example:  "Dear Aunt Suzie, Thank you so much for the beautiful hand towels you sent. I just know they'll brighten up our powder room!  Hope to see you again soon- Love, Ann and Keith."  Keep it simple!

So take it slow - create a plan, and start early.  Crack a bottle of bubbly and tackle those notes.   You can do this!!  It's just the right thing to do!

As always- Keep Celebrating!